She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
