I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
