Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
