Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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