sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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