I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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