Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
