I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
