MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Two words: blizzard sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
