i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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