we have pet lesbian snakes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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