Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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