you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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