all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
