You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That accounts for only three of the penises
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
