He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
