How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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