she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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