does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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