I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
