i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
