You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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