You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
