Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
