Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
