When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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