True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
