Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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