Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
