Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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