your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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