That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
