Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
