Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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