then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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