Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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