I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
