i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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