I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
