We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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