and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
