party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
