Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
