i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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