Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She's the barista slut.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
