You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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