My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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