Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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