I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
