Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
